“Can I Be Late?”

My cousin and I were running late to church on Sunday, and we talked about why we find it okay to be late to something like church but not school or work.  And by “we” I mainly mean Egyptians and any other nationality that blames their culture for why they are late–”it’s Egyptian timing* it’s okay lol we’re always late it’s rly funny”–but this might apply to other people, too.

*I think I would use the culture defense if I ever committed a crime.  ”Your honor, it’s just how my people are.  I have Egyptian Fist, which means that sometimes I punch people.  Don’t blame me for my culture.  Also, sorry I was late today.”

There are four answers to the question “Can I Be Late?”.

• Yes, because my presence does not affect the event’s proceedings. It doesn’t matter if I’m there!  Things will go on as scheduled.  They won’t miss me.  This is what we often say about things like church and parties we are not too excited about.  Like if you’ve been invited to my annual honey symposium.  Speaking of which, you’re still listed as “May-Bee” on the E-vite, so…
• No, because the event cannot occur without me. This includes lunch plans with a friend, appointments (hair, dental, back hair), and other events in which there are only a few participants.  Still, some people think they can be late for one-on-one meetings anyway.
• Yes, because although the event cannot occur without me, I am the guest of honor!  Well aren’t we important! We often use this answer when we think we are doing someone else a favor.  One time I was helping a friend move and decided “who cares if I’m late, I’m helping him!” This is why celebrities show up late.  I think this is why some doctors find it okay to run way behind schedule.  I have seen some speakers in our church community do this often, showing up an hour late for a fellowship meeting because they can. Who is going to yell at a clergy member? Well, lots of people it turns out.  But not for being late.  That would be the pot calling the kettle brown. Oh the meeting’s at 7:30?  Great.  I’ll be there August 18th.
• No, because although I am the guest of honor, I am not the one doing the favor. When you have to impress someone it’s probably not good to be late, which is why although Egyptians may not be punctual for church, they will be on time for work.  Also, job interviews, dates with people prettier (or wealthier or better-smelling) than us, and basically any time you are speaking at an event and you are white.

Back to the impetus for this question: Why do some of us find it okay to be late to church or a get-together at a friend’s house?  Because we think we are not integral to the event.  That’s a faulty assumption if we examine the whole point of something like church or a party.  It’s designed to be a communal activity, and the action isn’t communal if the community’s members are not there.  If you go to church or are invited to a party, you are indeed the reason it exists.  Now don’t get a big head–the church does not exist just for you or me or one other person.  It exists for all of us as a whole.  It’s the same thing with a party.  The party exists at 7 pm for those who are invited, and there is no party without them.  Do you have any friends who always show up at the time you invite them?  It’s awesome (thanks Jenn and Hayes).  It makes the host feel less like the guests are doing us a favor and more like your friends actually enjoy your company.  In this way the guest can make the host feel welcome.  We should do the same for others, including any omnipotent deities who invite us to their house.

Okay, gotta go.  I’m late for an job interview with someone much better looking than me.