Artisan Crafted Air

Heather's mom is in town this weekend, and to celebrate, my parents took us out ot Alexander's Steakhouse. Alexander's is one of the most upscale restaurants I've ever been to; they had a few really expensive steaks ($250), and they had caviar for five hundred bucks. HUH? That's the price of a scooter!

Needless to say, we stuck with the food in the double-digit range. The steaks were really good, and everything else was fantastic and intriguing, honestly. They gave us cotton candy for dessert.

Alexander's gets 4 points on the Pretentio-meter for the following infractions:

1) TABLESIDE PREP - Mom ordered roasted red pepper soup, which came with shrimp. The server poured the soup on the shrimp at the table. This ain't Benihana's, people. If you are gonna show me how you make the food, at least make it interesting. Put it in an onion volcano or flip it into your hat.

2) UNCUT SALAD - This wasn't even a wedge salad, but rather stalks of romaine (maybe?) laid parallel with all the Caesar accoutrements on top. I guess I'm okay with the wedge salad because of the presentation points it earns. This just seemed lazy though.

3) STUPID NOMENCLATURE - "Brown Butter Frozen Air" was an ingredient in one of the desserts. Apparently it's froth. They could have said "Froth" but they said "Frozen Air." "Froth." They could have just said "froth." They didn't.

4) ARTISTRY - There was also "artisan cheese" on the dessert menu. Unless Michaelangelo himself carved the cheese into the shape of a Roman soldier, please don't call it artisan. It's cheese--it came out of a cow's udder and it curdled and now I'm putting it in my mouth and it's getting digested.

Despite these minor minor gripes, the food was great, and service was spectacular. Here's my recommendation: "I recommend it if you can expense it."



I need to start writing about something besides food.