Weather It's Cold or Not! (Puns!)

I have a scenario for you. You've lived in California your whole life. The weather is mild, usually warm, and you like that. You accept an invitation to attend grad school in upstate New York. August, everything's okay. September, not so bad. By October it's below 60 every day. The question: what are you wearing?
If you're my friend Dan, you push through with the flip flops and shorts, the uniform of a beach boy. It's a sign of where you came from, maybe an act of defiance. But, if you're most other people, you talk about how cold it is and you're probably wearing long johns, a parka, and an actual moose (they are warmer than elk, from my experience).

I find these two extremes entertaining, especially on a college campus. Most girls and boys (but especially the girls) bundled up today to face the approaching Austin winter. FYI, the low for today is 65 (it's 67 right now at 9 am) and the high is 79. In Ithaca I believe 65 degrees requires a burn ban.

Here in Austin, it's cold by comparison to our record-breaking summer and everyone (female) wants to break out their new fall clothing, so I am not surprised by the North Face fleeces all over the place. But on a slightly related note, here are my weather-related life improvements:

• Ice Snake - Sometimes when it's really hot and I get in my car (especially when I've been on crutches), I want to put my pits right up to the AC vents. I want a funnel with a long, flexible tube that I could use to blow air up my sleeve. Oooh, I get chills just thinking about how refreshing that would be! And my shirt would be all puffy and that would look cool, too.
• BagBrella - why should I have to hold my umbrella in my hands? What is this, the 20th Century? I want my backpack to have a pop-up umbrella that I can use in light wind/rain. Again, people on crutches would be very appreciative
  
• WeathAyer - I want an iPhone program that--in addition to today's forecast--tells me the temperature yesterday. That way, I can think about what I wore yesterday and compare.
  
• Rain Cap - People are always worried about getting their hair wet when it rains. What about a loose, thin plastic covering with an elastic band that covers your hair so that it doesn't get wet? They are TOTALLY different than shower caps, and I am selling them for 5 dollars each.

Allergies: Still Not as Bad as Killer Bees

Isn’t there some old adage that says you can always talk about the weather? Think back to the last time you were seated on an airplane next to someone you’ve never met. Really think about it. Assuming they are not holding a framed lithograph of BBMak, you can only be sure that you have two things in common: you’re both flying to New Jersey, and you both live on planet Earth. And because you both live on planet Earth, something else you have in common is that you are both experiencing the current weather.

That’s why you can always talk about much it’s raining or how hot it is. It’s pretty much the only thing you can talk to anyone about at anytime. You can even talk about it at a funeral, and it would be considered polite conversation—unless of course you said something like: “Hey how ‘bout this heat? It’s making Jeff’s rotten corpse smell terrible.”

Most of the time, though, it’s a safe area of conversation. Maybe a little boring to most people, but safe nonetheless.

So yes, it’s been hot around these parts the last few days. It was around 90 yesterday in Cupertino AND in the Sunset District. And apparently, very dry heat and the surrounding grassy hills join forces to administer the repeated slaps to the face collectively known as severe allergy symptoms. They are not going away any time soon either, so go to Target and get your generic loratidine as soon as you can.


SLAP. (I sneezed.)